Monday 6 June 2011

EMAIL TO AN OGYAKROM NEWSPAPER PUBLISHER - A SHORT STORY BY KOFI THOMPSON

Opanin, the idea is that through the answers he gives to our questions, he indirectly floors Brofupeterh & Co., without directly confronting them. Ditto the Akanfuor Epeh Ena Eriko Akuo. For example:

Paper XX: Your Excellency, why have you failed to respond directly to the many public attacks on your administration by former President Brofupeterh?

H.E. Asomdwe: Well, that's a good question. First of all, you did refer to him as a former president. I am in charge of the Republic of Ogyakrom, today - and I happen to know the full facts about our nation's present circumstances.

He, on the other hand, doesn't - so it is not surprising that he makes some of the unfair criticisms that he makes. We also, of necessity, have to operate on different levels.

By definition, anyone elected to be president of the Republic of Ogyakrom, has to consider what is in the national interest, at all material times, to ensure sustainable development for our homeland.

In other words, what is best for the vast majority of present, and future generations, of Ogyakrommba - not just what will please one's followers: for short-term political expediency.

His concerns are narrower, in that sense. I am constantly aware that history will judge every action of mine - so I am forced to always act in a manner that will ensure that I leave a good legacy that my descendants will be proud of, till the very end of time.

He has left his own legacy - and I am working on mine. That can have its own problems too - but as I said, I am relaxed about what he says and what he does, because at the end of the day, I rule this country, not him. I am the commander-in-chief of the Ogyakrom Armed Forces (OAF), not him.

That is the difference. There is nothing personal about that - just different perspectives of what is good for our nation: a society, incidentally, in which the rule of law exists and reigns supreme, as you know.

Paper XX: Are you worried about the challenge posed by Obaapa Etiaaa, to your leadership of the party, and ultimately your hold on power as president?

H.E. Asomdwe: I don't think that anyone serious going into an election would be complacent. So in that sense, one ought not to take things for granted, in any free and fair election, such as the one coming up shortly in Sunyanville this July.

So one therefore has to work hard to ensure victory in any contest one faces - and I am doing so for the one to decide who has the right to lead our great party in the December 2012 presidential election, at Sunyanville.

Again, there is a difference in perspective. I am the president, and I know the challenges Ogyakrom faces. Obaapa Etiaaa would probably wonder how we have got this far, if she were appraised of the full facts about our dear nation's circumstances, when we first took over power in January 2009, and the challenges that face nations such as ours today, in an era of globalisation.

Rome was not built in a day, and neither will Ogyakrom - despite the way some seek to give the false impression that our homeland Ogyakrom can be transformed overnight.
I think the generality of Ogyakrommba have the intelligence, and are realistic enough, to accept, that it will take time, hard work and a stable and peaceful political environment, to transform Ogyakrom.

So I am confident of winning the Sunyanville contest - but as a good sportsman, I also wish Obaapa Etiaaa good luck, too: and may the best candidate for Ogyakrom win!

Paper XX: What about the issue of the corrupt people in the Akanfuor Epeh Ena Eriko Akuo administration not being prosecuted and jailed, Your Excellency?

H.E. Asomdwe: Well, again there is the question of perspective. Under the laws of Ogyakrom, people are presumed innocent until proven guilty, in a properly constituted court of law. This is a constitutional era, not a military regime, as you very well know.

A number of investigations into past corruption, enabled us to prosecute some officials of the
Akanfuor Epeh Ena Eriko Akuo regime. I believe you are aware of some ongoing cases, as we speak - for which reason, I'd rather not go into much detail on this particular subject.

But let me just say that though the wheels of the golden carriage of Lady Justice may turn ever so slowly - it does get her to her final destination eventually, nonetheless.

No one who was corrupt in the past, and no one who is corrupt today, in my administration, will escape the long arm of the law: no matter how long it takes for it to reach them.

Whenever suitable evidence is unearthed by the investigative bodies, when acts of past and present-day corruption are brought to our notice, which will make the prosecution of such individuals feasible, justice for the people of Ogyakrom, in such instances, will definitely be procured - but I refuse, as a matter of principle, to persecute anyone in the interim, whiles investigations that will enable us prosecute them successfully go on, just because they are my political opponents who are alleged to have been, or, are deemed to be corrupt.

I am a lawyer and a law professor, after all - and I operate under a constitution that I have sworn a solemn oath of honour to uphold and to defend: and it is the supreme legal document in Ogyakrom, which underpins the rule of law in this country.

No one is going to get me to ignore the law of the land by trying to stampede me into disregarding due process - no matter how hard they huff and puff: and no matter what imaginative names they call me. Democracy is not just about institutions, my brother - it is also a way of life based on tolerance.

So let me repeat, the long arm of the law will eventually catch up with all those who have engaged in acts of corruption during the Nkontompohenekitewaa era and under my watch, no matter how long it takes to bring them to book eventually.

Let no one think for one moment that I am not willing to prosecute corrupt officials. Due process is what guides us, at every stage in our work on behalf of the good people of Ogyakrom - and is what we are following, to bring about their eventual prosecution.

That is not inaction as some want the good people of this country to believe - it is respect for the laws of Ogyakrom. And I am committed to that for the duration of my tenure as the president of the Republic of Ogyakrom, my brother. Period.

That, essentially, is the difference between the responsibility of being in government, working according to law, and being outside government enjoying the dubious privilege and luxury, of courting cheap popularity - for purely self-serving reasons. Let us be absolutely clear about that.

End of concept note.


Massa, get the idea? Can you imagine two whole pages of such hot stuff in your paper - and what it will do for Paper XX's reputation and the paper's sales figures?

Do you also see how powerful it can be, as a weapon to counter Brofupeterh's treachery and gross disrespect? Ditto the Akanfuor Epeh Ena Eriko Akuo latching unto the tiresome Brofupeterh's vituperative rubbish? I always thought you would move your paper in this direction.

That is what I meant when I said call Sekou and Samia. A mere phone call to interview them, was all that was needed. I am not one for using other local media houses' hard work and initiative - 90 percent of it mostly being third-rate stuff that no native speaker of English will comprehend, in any case.

Using culled foreign stuff is different - as it allows us to compare what our rulers and officialdom achieve when in office, with what their counterparts in places like the US, the UK and the EU achieve for their people.

So, finally, Massa, this interview with H. E. Asomdwe, koraaa, is it something that you can actually swing, at all?

I know you don't like to hear me say so, but all the troubles of President Asomdwe's administration, can be laid squarely at the doorstep of its small army of over-pampered and over-paid PR geniuses.

Their monumental incompetence, is the cause of all President Asomdwe's woes. If they had any imagination, today H. E. Asomdwe would be unassailable - instead of looking like a weak leader out of his depth.

If he had declared and publicly published the assets of both himself and that of his dear wife, Obaa Enionyamfuor Naa-Manye, as some of us advised when he first came to power, would Brofupeterh & Co., and the hypocrites in the Akanfuor Epeh Ena Eriko Akuo have had
the audacity and the temerity to mention his name in the same breath as the word corruption?

It is still not too late to save the Akatanwia regime of President Asomdwe from certain defeat by the Akanfuor Epeh Ena Eriko Akuo - but they must listen to those who mean well: and offer them good advice to help their Government stay in power.

After all, today, whiles people like me are struggling, they are enjoying their freebie-filled existence, at taxpayers' expense: but we still offer them good free advice for the sake of Mother Ogyakrom, nonetheless - and despite their foolish mockery of our altruism.

Take you yourself, for example, Massa. You know the Ogyakrom high commissioner to Ohemaa Lillibetkrom. So why have you not asked him to investigate Nkontompohenekesie's alleged purchase of a property worth a little under some £2 zillions?

Do you know where exactly the payment paper-trail will lead to, if it is true that that ace-hypocrite and arch tribal-supremacist indeed does own a property worth that figure in Ohemaa Lillibetkrom?

Will that not make a difference in the public's perception of the true nature, of the abominable-and-unfathomable-greed-monster that is the creature know as the Akanfuor Epeh Ena Eriko Akuo - because they will finally be able to peep behind the false goody-goody facade those hypocrites now present to Ogyakrommba, so successfully?

I am sorry to say so, and I hope you don't feel offended personally by it, as that is not my motive, but that's the trouble with some of you Akatanwie people.

It is almost as if you think that the crucial work to help it stay in power, has to be done by others, for your party - and yet some of you still have the gall to insult Nkrumah's memory and the many altruistic Progressives who follow his ideals: such as my poor old senile self.

Take that loud-mouthed Brofupeterh for example - just what has he done to unearth some of the past corruption that he rails about endlessly?

What stops him from using his own personal network - to help the authorities catch Nkontompohenekitewaa & Co., I ask?

Especially as there will soon be a falling out amongst thieves - as Nkontompohenekitiwaa's fronts-men start getting real money for the share in blocs in the golden-goose oilfield that they hold for him secretly: and try to do a Beyee Enampa Afiyiea Freezing Company stunt on him?

The Ogyakrom tax authorities must liaise with their counterparts around the world, to keep an eye on where every cent of those US$300 millions-plus goes - and get every tax cent due the Ogyakrom treasury.

We will then see how that giant greedy bastard, Nkontompohenekitiwaa, and his godfather in dissimulation, Nkontompohenekesie, get their greasy paws on their share of what should have belonged to all Ogyakrommba, in the first place.

No doubt, such an outrage would never have occurred, if Nkrumaists had been in power: as they would never have allowed what ended up in the possession of those clever thieving proxy F. P. Group rogues, but was in fact a secret bribe given to Nkontompohenekitewaa, to end up in more or less insolvent private hands.

Incidentally, that gargantuan mother of all bribes in Ghanaian history, was offered by the selfsame American crooks who had the effrontery to offer same to the honest H. E. Asomdwe, who turned it down flatly - but made the politically fatal error of judgement, in not causing their immediate arrest the day they proffered it.

Nkrumah would neither have permitted nor tolerated such valuable national assets ending up in dishonest private hands - especially ones which had no money to pay upfront for the acquisition of those shares in Ogyakrom's oil and natural gas fields. Ditto hands that could not pay their share of production costs upfront, in such oilfields, too. Pity. But I digress.

Furthermore, what also stops Brofuperteh from pleading with WikiLeaks' Julian Assange, for example, to give his office all the leaked copies of diplomatic cables from the US Embassy in Ogyakrom Akropong to the State Department in Washington DC, pertaining to reports of corruption and other unethical "governance-happenings" during the Nkontompohenekitewaa era?

Is that not an impeccable source, containing a whole treasure-trove of leads for investigators here, I ask?

Yet, instead of proferring such sensible advice to his equally clueless charges (his ever-voluble holier-than-thou Lord and Mistress), that hapless Adam Afiadaba fellow, hops from radio station to radio station, busy helping that divisive Akanfuor Epeh Ena Eriko Akuo's future propaganda war effort? Incredible. What's the matter with you Akatanwie people, koraaa, Massa?

I have never known a party to be so careless with the political power it won the hard way, before - especially after eight long and painful years in the political wilderness.

What precisely have you yourself done about the H. E. Asomdwe documentary film idea, for example, Massa?

It will not surprise me in the least, if your regime's PR geniuses haven't already turned it into yet another money-making opportunity: for those ever-so-clever and confounded consultant cronies of theirs - in exchange for the usual secret kickbacks.

Yet, I freely gave the idea for patriotic and nationalistic reasons, to be used as a weapon to help keep the greed-filled individuals who control and dominate the Akanfuor Epeh Ena Eriko Akuo from the shadows, from returning to power again, in December 2012.

I really don't get it about your party at all, Massa. And please don't get angry about my strictures - just do something positive about them, for f---k's sake!

Yours in the service of Ogyakrom,

Kofi.

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