VODAFONE GHANA'S WORLD CLASS LOUSY BLACKBERRY SERVICE - A FREE VERSE POEM BY KOFI THOMPSON

Definitely not the physically violent type

But these very trying ending-June days

I could happily wring Vodafone Ghana's neck

For my lousy BlackBerry internet access

However, won't get mad

Rather get megabyte-even

This is no world-class service

Despite the endless spin and hype

Just appalling world-class shabby service

And they can only get away with it in Ghana

Where else?

One minute one's on 3G

Next minute GSM

Then small-lettered edge

To be replaced after yonks by big-lettered EDGE

Whence a fleeting and tantalising glimpse of the web can be caught

And vital emails can then briefly fly in and out

Then the sodden merry-go-round merrily begins all over again

And carries on ad nauseam

And even after the umpteenth call to that infernal Vodafone Ghana call-centre

One still gets no satisfaction

From those ever-so-smug my-name-is-so-and-so

And how-may-I-help-you, outsourced zombies

In the meantime one's still unable to bundle *125*3# for July

For love of money

And days after paying in full for it

Because amazingly one apparently either has insufficient credit

Or one's already bundled one gathers

Incredible

Imagine that!

Never mind that one's actually loaded all the required sodden monthly data-bundle sum

Talk about a confused system and a smug flat-footed network

On autopilot whiles its British top brass live the life of Riley at Ghana's expense

Why take full payment for month's data-bundle

And tell one such rubbish, I ask?

Pure poppycock

And endless cock-ups

Gigabyte-shambles

Endless shambolic bit-shambles

If its a world-class rip-off you are running here, Vodafone Ghana

Why not simply be bold about it?

And spare those hapless BlackBerry users in Ghana

Who are now so thoroughly fed up with your lousy internet access, the aggravation?

And will you do the decent thing, and pay compensation?