Hmm, Ghana - eyeasem o. A pattern seems to be emerging of late. Our country is always dealing with offshore companies these days - whose ownership it is virtually impossible for anyone to trace.
And the "regime-crony-oligarchs" in the financial services industry, according to bush telegraph sources, are now the primary source of kickbacks in hard currency for the rogues amongst those who rule Nkrumah's Ghana, today.
Well, hopefully, dear reader, that outrageous nonsense on bamboo stilts, which this latest example of our rulers' playing fast and loose with the public purse, represents, will finally open the eyes of those loud-mouthed imbeciles, the : "My-party-my-tribe-right-or-wrong" fanatical party faithful!
Are they getting any of this juicy new pool of foreign currency kickback lolly? Probably not. Are they aware that they are just being fobbed off - merely being asked to make do with the anaemic old cedi as payment for their partisanship, from the current beneficiaries of the two-party dictatorship: both of whom alternate, taking turns to "chop mother Ghana small?"
Who, but the greediest morons amongst those who rule us today, dear reader, would believe that they could actually get away with giving Ghanaians the false impression that the Channel Islands, were known centres of excellence, in UK jewellery-making?
Well, at least a few of us do know that they certainly are centres of excellence, in the business of hiding the wealth of secretive high net worth individuals: and are a UK tax haven par excellence!
Perhaps our useless and supine parliament will demand from this regime, who the owners of that profiteering Channel Island jewellery company actually are?
Is that not the self-same area where those who are the real owners of Ghana International Airlines (GIA) are hiding their ownership of that inefficient and loss-making airline: through shell companies registered in that particular part of the UK? Hmm, Ghana - aye asem oo!
And for nearly the whole hour that he recently had the opportunity to interview a director of Databank, who also apparently wears another hat as a director of Ghana Telecom on television, someone often referred to as a "senior journalist", did not have the nous to ask him if his company, Databank, had had anything to do with Vodafone finding its way to the shores of Ghana!
And above all, why did he not try to elicit from that smug fat-cat tycoon, whether his firm was amongst Vodafone's Ghanaian advisers - and whether they had, at any time since their company was set up, ever received any payments from Vodafone or any company in which Vodafone has a major stake?
Yet, it is crucial that Ghanaians know if any financial services company here, has been paid "finder's fees" for making the opportunity to acquire Ghana Telecom, known to Vodafone!
Why did he not see the need to ask the Databank director, who it appears does sit on GT's board, whether there was any conflict of interest situation for him in his dual role of directorships of both companies, and if it is the case that Databak has had any share of the munificence, if any, which Vodafone has been spreading amongst local professional advisers?
This overrated hack's irritating fixation with the almost irrelevant "how much...is coming to Ghana, then..." simply blinded him to a possible serious felony having been committed by powerful people in the financial services industry!
But, as we all know, this is an industry that many regard as being very poorly regulated: in the many incestuous relationships between some regulators and the very industry players they are supposed to regulate.
It is a classic Byzantine Ghanaian network of cronies; old schoolmates; and sundry politically-well connected influence-peddling and ruthless oligarchs! Absolutely useless in its designated national role, in other words! Hmm Ghana - aye asem oo!
As we all know from the recent revelations in the Norwegian court case involving Scancem and a former employee of theirs, foreign multinationals pay massive kickbacks to African politicians to acquire state-owned companies in the most strategic industries here, for far less than their actual values.
A company similar to Ghana Telecom company in the UK; the EU; the US; Japan; or South Korea, would have cost Vodafone billions of dollars, to acquire! So the value placed on GT is far too low.
If clever foreigners want it, let them pay us at least US$7 billions for it - for, we do know that Vodafone was interested in taking over MTN's entire African operations: but balked at the US$ 50 billions asking price put on it (at the time when one of the two sons of the founder of the Reliance Group, Anil Ambani, the second richest man in India, and his brother Mukesh Ambani, were quarrelling over MTM: which Anil had wanted to acquire). Period.
The US$ 7 billions is what it is worth for ordinary people in Ghana - never mind what the so-called "analysts" tell us to the contrary. They, can stuff it! Adeni, yabre - haba!
So, as that hopeless rubber-stamp parliament of ours is now our last hope to scupper that outrageous GT deal, let parliament demand from the masters of the universe now in charge of our country, that they supply the legislature with a list of all the legal firms; accountancy firms; and the financial services companies, which have benefited from such privatisation deals.
And they must reveal just how much they have each earned, thus far: and above all, if they were paid in local currency or not; and if not whether any Bank of Ghana foreign exchange regulatons have been breached by those "oh-ever-so-respectable" sharks!
If any such regulations have been breached, ordinary Ghanaians hope that there will be swift prosecutions at the Fast Track High Courts: so they can go and cool their heels at Nsawam Prison - and provide some decent intellectual stimuli for the brilliant Tsatsu Ktsikata!
Ordinary Ghanaians demand to know the total amount of professional fees paid local professional advisers by the Vodafones of this world, thus far, since this most greedy of regimes came to power a little under eight years ago. Ditto fees they have earned from the Ghanaian nation-state in such deals, if any.
And fancy paying money to some foreign beauty to "facilitate" Ghana accessing the Millennium Challenge Account (MCA) funds from the US, dear reader.
Well, why don't we simply shut down our "super-expensive-to-run" diplomatic missions in the US: and give out a contract to the aforementioned middle-aged beauty, on the make (and apparently on the take, too!), to take care of our US interests, then, I ask?
Then, that way, the greediest and the most dishonest of our leaders can get kickbacks regularly from her and her narcissistic and super-materialistic husband: who apparently is said to have a direct line to God! Yehowaa, eeee - Ghana! Hmm, ayeasem oo! What perfidy!
We demand to know the treacherous stooges for neo-colonialism in our midst, whose unfathomable greed for money, drives them to lead foreign companies to the shores of Ghana, to reap where they have not sown: laying their grubby fat foreign fingers on our national assets, built up over the years, by the blood, sweat and tears of Ghanaian workers.
There are many ordinary people who are aware, today, of precisely where the greatest proportion of the hard currency kickbacks paid to our corrupt oligarchs, does come from!
Our leaders may think that ordinary Ghanaians are fools, and that they are being super clever in dreaming up various new wheezes to rip mother Ghana off.
However, ordinary people, do know that in the main, under this regime, privatisations are being driven by the greed for money (i.e. fat fees charged illegally in US dollars, one gathers from the grapevine!) of the myriad of professional advisers, whom the Vodafones of this world, use in taking over state-owned companies, in our country!
Just how much in fees, for example did the Ghanaian financial services sector firms, which were involved in that gargantuan folly, the US$ 750 millions sovereign bond issue of recent memory, earn?
And why should what they earned be a state secret, dear reader? Was it not taxpayers' money that went to them, for 'sundry services' to Ghana? Let our parliament take its oversight responsibilities over the executive, seriously for once - and find out for all Ghanaians just who are the big fish "chopping Ghana small" in "awuff" professional fees!
Ghanaian politicians are incredibly smart - they have now decided that its best to take the kickbacks in the smartest and most 'legitimate' ways possible. And they have decided that the fees charged by their cronies' financial services companies will be their preferred route to amassing mega wealth that they hitherto used to get directly from the Scancems of this world.
So let our supine non-performing minority parties in parliament demand to know who the owners of that Channel Island jewellery company are.
And let them also ask if Vodafone paid any financial services companies in Ghana, any fees, for making the sale of Ghana Telecom known to them.
It will not surprise me one bit, if it turned out that somehow a Ghanaian financial services company went to Vodafone unsolicited, and asked to act as professional advisers whiles showing them just how to structure their GT takeover bid.
Elsewhere, where regulators protect the public at large from such crookedness, this is a very serious crime - known as insider dealing: i.e. if employees or partners of such financial services companies who worked for Vodafone were also on the board of GT, or have acted, or are acting, as professional advisers, to GT too.
So the big question the largely clueless "regime-praise-singing" media here ought to be asking is: are any of the professional advisers of GT guilty of insider dealing; or was there any conflict of interest situation involving any of their employees on GT's board - and was that a material fact in helping Vodafone to clinch the GT takeover deal?
And if so, should ordinary Ghanaians not demand that the deal be cancelled forthwith? Hmm, Ghana, ayeasem oo!
Parliament must redeem itself in the eyes of ordinary people just this once, by asking all the above questions, as well as demanding to know the standing in the UK jewellery industry as a whole, of the Channel Island jewellery company that clearly so grossly overcharged us for what probably is just a consignment of gold-plated chi-chi rubbish. And it is all in such appalling bad taste, too! Nkruwasifuo!
Koseme! Anyemimeh menisana pone? Hmm, Ghana - awaa egh! Absolutely no taste: and no class, whatsoever! May God bless and protect our homeland Ghana, always. Long live freedom! Long live Ghana!
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