Greetings Your Excellency,
The desperate situation of the citizens of the eastern part of your beautiful but troubled country, demands extreme measures by your government. Let me begin by reminding you that over five million of our fellow Africans have died from war, starvation and disease in Eastern DR Congo, since 1996.
Sir, your regime must take extreme measures if you are to end the carnage in that part of your country, where the warlord and war criminal, Laurent Nkunda, operates. Forget about the nations of the West - by definition, they do not care: because in the final analysis they are not prepared to risk the lives of their troops to save the citizens of eastern DR Congo (who are “mere Africans” in their eyes, after all).
You must move quickly to get the Chinese to come to your aid, Sir: just as they came to the aid of Zambia and built the Tanzara railway when that nation needed to find a sea outlet to the north, and the Western nations wouldn’t help them do so - because their real sympathies lay with the apartheid regimes of South Africa and Rhodesia.
Strike an agreement with the Chinese, as soon as it is practical to do so: stationing some of their Special Forces in your country, to safeguard your country’s territorial integrity, train and equip your military, and help protect the eastern border - in exchange for exclusive access to the whole of DR Congo’s mineral wealth.
Tear up all the agreements your government has signed with private corporations thus far: they have all done business with Nkunda and other rebels in the past, have they not? None of them will ever lift a finger to help your country in its hour of need. Above all, how many battalions of Special Forces do they command that can save your regime, Sir? Zilch.
Sir, your country’s very existence is at stake - you heard what Captain Seco, Nkunda's junior brother, recently said about unacceptable “colonial” arrangements of the past, did you not? What he really meant, was that they actually seek the unraveling of DR Congo as a sovereign nation-state - so that they can secede and set up their own Tutsi apartheid state eventually, just as their fellow Tutsi allies in Rwanda have succeeded in doing: whiles the whole world turns a blind eye to their tyranny, because virtually all the nations in it, have become enfeebled by political correctness.
As for the fallout from tearing up all previous mining agreements with private corporations from around the globe, your regime need not worry your heads about any fallout, from such a move. You have got the concept and notion of force majeure and the sympathy of global public opinion on your side, should you take such a step against those callous and greedy corporations and businesspeople from the West, and sundry carpetbaggers from elsewhere.
Your Excellency, please demand that the UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon gets rid of all the present UN troops - and replaces them with an all-Chinese UN peacekeeping force. In addition, approach China directly to send Chinese Special Forces to your country, as part of a bilateral defence treaty - which you must endeavour to sign immediately with them, Sir.
If you rely on the UN for additional troops, you can depend on it that there will be endless wrangling about “details” rather than quickly sending additional troops - whiles your nation and its people, slowly bleed to death in an emergency. Never forget that no Western nation wants or intends to send troops to DR Congo, an Africa nation: if there is even the slightest possibility that any of them will die in battle.
Sir, simply reach an agreement with China as soon as it is practicable to do so and sign a defence agreement with them. A force of 200,000 Chinese Special Forces will guarantee the territorial integrity of your country, like nothing else will. Do not rely on the promises of your fellow African leaders, either: they do not have the means to keep their promises to you - and in any case their troops will probably only end up becoming involved in the pillage of the mineral wealth of eastern DR Congo.
Your colleague Paul Kagame will soon get his comeuppance - they are like tin gods in their country Rwanda: and think they can strut around the rest of the world like tin gods too. The arrest of Rose Kabuye, who was no doubt on a mission to secure some of the zillions of dollars they have made from looting your country’s wealth and stashed away in various banks in Europe, means their past is now catching up with them - and she, one of Africa's powerful "glorious-untouchables", will now get her day in court soon.
Eventually, they will all pay for gang-raping your country so brutally, through the agency of that quisling and war criminal, who is committing high treason by fighting the elected government of his own country - the murderous traitor and war criminal, Laurent Nkunda.
Sir, move quickly to convince the Chinese to make your country their special partner in Africa (like the "special relationship" between the UK and the US). Let them have all the minerals they want at prevailing market prices and in transparent joint-ventures with the DR Congo nation-state - but only on the understanding that when peace is finally secured and your infrastructure is renewed, value will be added locally to all DR Congo's minerals, to enable you create sustainable growth: and real jobs for your people. That way, some day, your great nation might even become the world's biggest producer of mobile phones. Imagine that, Sir!
Let them train your armed forces too, as part of your defence treaty with them. Forget about the West - they are not reliable allies to depend on to save your country’s territorial integrity, ever. Can you imagine that boorish Silvio Berlusconi coming to your country’s aid - a country full of super "sun-tanned" human beings?
Go for a close and special relationship with China: which will gladly help you rebuild and renew your country's infrastructure in batter agreements – and do so now, Sir! Peace and blessings to you and your long-suffering people.
Yours sincerely,
Kofi Thompson.
PS Talk to President Bush to get Erik Prince's Blackwater Corporation to quickly train five special battalions of DR Congo Special Forces: whose main task will be to find and either arrest or kill, that monster Laurent Nkunda.
Let it be a "trainer of trainers" deal - so that they will eventually train their own colleagues, too! Do batters with Erik Prince too - so that his company acts as advisors to your general staff and battalion commanders: in exchange for gold.
Get the Bush regime to ask the Pentagon to provide your special forces with the new weapon the US has developed that uses the heat from laser guns to disable opposing troops. Ditto armed remote-controlled drones and drones with cameras. Use jet bombers to precision-bomb that Tutsi bastard Nkunda too, Sir. Quickly get air-power help, especially helicopter gunships, from the Chinese too.
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