When I was told some time ago about an alleged conspiracy to illegally record conversations in the house I live in, by a cross-spectrum party-rented-media crowd, I couldn't help laughing.
Did they think I too was involved in the disgraceful and unprofessional habit of media professionals compromising themselves by selling their consciences to politicians - when they are supposed to be society's watchdogs over those selfsame politicians they are beholden to financially?
And for their information, my private life is led in a fashion that ensures that were a spotlight to be shone unexpectedly on it, neither I nor my children and grandchildren would be ashamed of it.
What saddened me most, dear reader, was that there were snakes-in-the grass who were happy to allow their properties to apparently serve as bases for what is clearly an illegality - as it cannot be justified under any circumstances.
Well, I wouldn't let even our sodden secret services get away with such an abuse of my basic human right to privacy, let alone unprofessional journalists, who are under the misapprehension that somehow their profession is a lucrative business opportunity, and an influence-peddling lobbyist's dream-platform.
I am waiting to hear more details from the mole who volunteered the information about this outrage to me. And when I get to independently confirm what I've been told by this particular source, I shall let the buffoons who allegedly thought of this foolish caper understand clearly that this is one illegality too far for them.
Where did they get to with their previous efforts to trip me up with the daft stories they planted online - and endless online honey-pot entrapment emails, Facebook friend requests and LinkedIn invitations to connect? Nowhere. And this too won't get them anywhere either, I promise them.
And the last time I checked the 1992 constitution and looked at our statute book, not making friends (with tribal-supremacist individuals and philistines one has nothing in common with); keeping to oneself and being a semi-recluse who prefers friends from the animal kingdom to feckless humans, weren't crimes either.
They will pay dearly for their arrogance. And they can be sure that they will eventually come to bitterly regret the day they thought of this stupid and juvenile plan to invade my privacy for no good reason whatsoever (such as preventing treason or a pressing - no pun intended - public interest reason vital for ensuring the well-being of Ghanaian society).
I mess with no one's private space, and much less do I tolerate others messing with mine. I might be a nobody and poor as a church mouse, but they must watch their step where I am concerned. Unlike so many of them I have old-fashioned values and principles, and actually have no skeletons hiding anywhere in my cupboard. A word to the wise...
Tel (Powered by Tigo - the one mobile phone network in Ghana, which actually works!): + 233 (0) 27 745 3109.